Thursday, March 11, 2010

10-11.03.10 Breaking the Cycle?

10.03.10 Wednesday, Yoga Time: 20 mins
11.03.10 Thursday, Yoga Time: 90 mins (class with Persia)

Yesterday (Wednesday) I continued the 20 minute physical thing I had done the past couple of days. After the practice I didn't feel super refreshed, and I was mad at myself for continuing the cycle I wanted to break out of. I couldn't bring myself to blog about the practice, and that made me feel even more out of touch with myself.

Today I wanted to totally break out of it, so I went to a class in Rozelle that I could drive to. Persia started the class by talking about her mother's recent beginning yoga practice and her success and weight loss after years of being obese. She was tearful and encouraged us all to find a little of our dreams in the class today. I thought about the power I wanted to harness and use i the class. Persia taught a pretty strong class, and I felt confident and strong throughout it. I tried a new variation of bow pose, and that was exciting. When she saw me on crutches after the class, she commented on the grace of my practice, and I felt accomplished and yogi. I felt like I had broken the cycle of the past few days.

However, after class several bad things happened, including my car's brakes quitting. I made it home, but spent most of the afternoon crying. I couldn't seem to shed enough tears. I was feeling really frustrated about several things, but especially about not being able to get around (again).

I had to leave the house later in the day and had to allow twice as much time to get around on crutches, and then had to use a cab from the train station. When I got home, I caught my reflection in the mirror and saw how sad it looked. I remembered my challenge to myself from a few blogs ago: to turn something really upsetting upside down.

So here I am, tryig to figure out how I can turn my day around. I spent some time meditating about karma in the universe. Since I was feeling like I've had so many negative things occur in my life lately, I thought about how I could try to continue to put out positive vibes while waiting for my life's energy to correct itself. I know that negative things cannot continue without end. So I'm sending warm fuzzies out. And hoping some come back.

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