Tuesday, January 22, 2019

moving toward clarity

there is an overused quote that i find completely ridiculous: "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."  because guess what--this isn't even possible.  the context is ALWAYS different.  as if we could repeat something exactly as it was done before, in any sense.

however, one of my favorite quotes is: "repetition is the key to clarity."  it was something another yoga teacher heard in a workshop and passed on in a yoga class i was attending.  now, that's a quote to learn something from.

in yoga, we do the same poses, the same vinyasa, the same mantras, and the same breathwork over and over.  and, if we're paying attention, each time we learn something new; we grow. 

we move toward clarity.

we begin to understand our physical selves better, our metaphorical edges, and how we inhabit our bodies.

repetition as a tool for learning in our lives is an interesting concept.  responding the same way to every argument with a friend or partner, for example, teaches us something, whether our response is effective or not.  if we observe, maybe we learn that our response is something we utilize in order to protect ourselves; maybe we learn that in differing times of stress, the response is accepted differently.  to really move forward, though, we have to be able to absorb as much information as possible at each time point.

it's that observation and awareness that we consistently try to develop through our yoga and meditation practices.  the more we burn through, the closer we get to that internal point of stillness that allows us to see our lives and relationships with clarity.

and that's the real reason i practice yoga and meditation.  because woah. that clarity, in the bits and pieces i keep finding it, is the balm to life's insanity.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

beats, heart


being alone is better with you.  I fit next to you. you fit into me.
we lay.  we dream.  when the sun comes up, you’re looking at me.
your eyes; my eyes.  your smile; my smile.  like spring.

beats.

what the fuck do you think love is?  you don’t know.
suppose I never met you.  freedom.
freedom?  freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.
wake up.  WAKE UP.

beats.

would you have listened to you? you were crazy. 
I cry because I know.
the worst part is, there’s no one else to blame.
but still, I don’t want you to leave.
will you hold my hand?

beats.beats.
glasses of champagne on the dance floor.
beats.beats.
it fills my head up and gets louder.

beats.

nothing ever stays wrong that long.                              I look up.
I look
  forward.

your shadow            recedes.

I glow.

I reflect. 


I wish you love. 

you have to believe we are magic.

beats.

beats.