Tuesday, June 22, 2010

18-22.06.10 WHiiiiirrrrring

Fri: 15 mins; Sat: 35 mins; Sun: off; Mon: 40 mins personal with sister via skype, 60 mins teaching; Tues: 20 mins

This past weekend was full of planning and stressful, but mostly wonderful. I had surprised my Billy for his birthday, and wanted everything to be happy, easy, and smiley all weekend long. Mainly, I knew he would prefer a lack of planning, but that meant I still had to do a lot of planning on the front end so that we wouldn't have to do any planning during the celebratory weekend. But, even though we didn't need to plan during the weekend, I still felt a lot of worry about things going well.

Once the weekend was over, I still felt lingering worry. Stress at work on Monday and then anticipatory anxiety toward my upcoming juice/soup fast on Tuesday added to the lingering worry.

Several times over the past several days I've tried to stop, relax, focus on my breath, and halt my brain's constant activity. I haven't been very successful at relaxing the constant whirring during my day, but I've found peace through my yoga--in my personal practice, in my sharing yoga with my sister, and in my teaching. I feel grateful for my practice and what I'm able to find through it, but I'm frustrated at my inability to tune in to my body and breath at other points in my life.

Over the next three days I'll be doing a juice/soup cleanse. I'm nervous about how stressed or anxious I may feel and how I may be able to respond to those feelings while on the cleanse. I'm afraid that my mind may freak out during this time and that I may not be able to calm it. I've tried to prep my mind as much as possible, as well as planning my days and how I'll transport the juices while keeping them cool. So, in trying to prepare to not feel anxious, I've done a ton of planning--which has kept me from being present thoughout my day today, and has increased my anxiety.

I'm hoping to focus on cleansing my mind as my body goes through this cleanse over the next three days. Cleanse time starts as soon as I wake up. Mind and body: whirring out the whirring.

No comments:

Post a Comment