Thursday, April 1, 2010

01.04.10 Frustration, relieved

1hr class with Martine; 45 minutes personal practice with Martine

Can I just say, "OMG!"??? Because that's what I feel like today: pretty freakin' excited. I've been working on "breaking" my handstand for quite a while. I definitely did not "break it" today, but I had a breakthrough! I kicked my legs up over my head to the wall--and got them to stay up! All thanks to Martine's trick: bend my second leg as I kick up so that the weight of the straight leg doesn't pull me back down.

I have never been good at getting my legs over my head. When I was in gymnastics as a pre-teen, I had lots of strengths, but cartwheels (one of the "easier" tricks) were never one of them. I went through all of my childhood, adolescence, and adult life without ever completing an actual cartwheel. There is some mental block that keeps me from kicking my legs over my head. I've been able to tackle headstands, but that doesn't involve any kicking. So kicking my legs up over my head today was a (if I may borrow a now infamous quote) big fucking deal.

As Martine and I sat meditating and sealing our practice, I began to cry. I think the tears resulted from relief of a lifelong frustration. Although I recognized that I had been upset by not achieving a handstand yet, I didn't realize how much it had been bothering me until the frustration was relieved. The weight that was lifted left me feeling softer; like I could care for myself and ease other frustrations in my life.

Tonight, before blogging, I was talking to a friend about some disappointments in my life. Now, as I write this and reflect back on my day, I see (again) how lessons from my yoga practice translate and are applicable to everything I do. I'm so thankful that I'm able to practice every day, because where would I be without my practice?

Stuck standing on my feet instead of my hands, that's where.

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