shining up my details

each time we make a decision, we create history. we affect other's history. we create our future. and we affect each other's destiny and future.

those little decisions, those little details, matter just as much as the big ones. in fact, i've recently realized that they probably matter much more. the details happen every day. and that's how we can really make a difference in our lives.

make the bed every morning: create order and peace.
keep your nails filed: create neatness and beauty.
sign off emails with something personal: create connection.

little details exist over and over. eternal opportunities for creation.

in yoga, paying attention to setting the foundation and to shining up the edges creates beautiful poses. i taught headstands in yoga tonight, and i had a student tell me that he had never tried one in 12 years of being a gymnast and teaching gymnastics. but through the details and intentions we set, he did his first headstand.

woah. it works.

i was talking to a bff tonight and off the cuff she said "i hate myself." and i thought, "god, how many times a day do you create that in your life?" i've done the same thing. i noticed a few months ago that every time i looked at my phone and it didn't have any notifications, i'd say to myself, "nobody loves me!" when i heard myself say this over and over, i was creating that. i had to re-train myself to say "i have lots of friends who love me; it's just that none of them are contacting me right at this moment."

and with that, i started to create more self-acceptance and love. i shifted. and shifting those little details makes a very real difference.

last night i binged and purged. just a little bit. but it sucked. and it left me feeling depressed and like a failure this morning. but you know what i did before i binged and purged? i reached out. i asked a friend for some reassurance. (thanks babe.)

that was a change. a little one, but a change. that little detail mattered. and i'm proud of that little detail. and being proud of that detail helped me get past the rest of it.

i think i reached out because i had a bff reach out to me last week. i remember feeling so proud of him. so thankful that he asked for help. and so hopeful for him creating the rest of what he needs.

kelli asked us saturday what we wanted to create in our lives. i want to create grace. beauty. heartfulness. love.

details.
create it through the details.
try this one kk: "i love me."
try this one c: "i have so many friends here that care about me."
i'm gonna try: "good job, spring."