before i move to NYC i have to find a moving company to make this whole thing happen. and before i choose a moving company, i have to get three in-person quotes. that all seemed straightforward enough a month ago when i started this process. now i realize that it isn't. and today, i also realized that the moving company needs to be able to handle more than just my packing.
i gave them a bit of an evil eye. i felt the tears well up. i cried. i told them "if you are the company i choose to go with, you will get to see a lot of tears." they laughed. i cried a little more: i don't want to leave.
i told a few friends about the moving quotes experience. i got a few different responses. but my favorite was sam's: "they're just jealous," she told me, "everyone's jealous of you moving to NYC!" i don't think that's true. but i also told her that i was going to adapt my thinking toward that view. because if i envision this as a super exciting thing that's happening right now, then, well, maybe i won't be so teary over it.
there's two types of regrets: regret over something in your past, and anticipated regret about a decision or situation you're going through.
some people dwell on the past; agonizing over what decisions they've made. i'm not one of those--i'm super good at letting go of the past. i know that all of those past experiences have made me what i am today: i couldn't envision myself another way. but those anticipated regrets? eeeek. i get stuck in those. what if this? what if that? i constantly try to ensure the shiniest future for myself and those i love.
but i'm able to see that living with anticipated regret is just as bad as the other: living constantly in the future is still not living in the present.
ok. yoga time. being here. now.