how a learning community gave me the job i wanted

i want to talk about the antiracist teaching collaborative. the antiracist teaching collab (ATC hereafter) was a life-changing experience for me. yes, it helped decolonize me. yes, i learned a lot about antiracist pedagogy. but the most life-altering part of the ATC was the community and the relationships nurtured through it.

the ATC was started because i was mad that there weren't active initiatives at the school to address the crisis of racism in our classrooms. and the community that came together around this topic was there for a purpose: to learn together. it was totally optional, and totally self-run, which meant there was no incentive to join other than wanting to be part of the group. we organized the group so that we took turns leading discussions and we voted on what materials we wanted to learn from together. it was democratic, friendly, and supportive. and the community became fierce: we presented what we were doing at the school and at the larger university. 

it was this connection with my peers that made me finally feel like a valued faculty member at the school. my connection with other faculty had been light before that. i wasn't collaborating on research projects with anyone at the school, and there weren't a lot of opportunities for deep/true engagement with my peers before the ATC. my first five years at the school were spent with many nights searching for other academic positions. however, after the ATC, i can not imagine leaving the school. now i have a community of peers i know, trust, and work well with. 

as a result of the ATC learning community, i also took some new risks in my teaching classrooms. it was because of everything we learned that i trailed many antiracist initiatives, including self-grading. i was so nervous to do it: would someone tell me i couldn't do it? would i get in trouble? would it fail spectacularly? all of these things were possible, but because of the learning community, i felt emboldened to take this risk over something i believed in.

now, i have been using self-grading for several years and believe strongly in all the ways i am creating a more equitable classroom. and i continue to look for ways to nurture my own growth through new/other learning communities after seeing such value from that one (hello pedagogy club!).

when i think about places where opportunities for connection have been missed, i think mostly about certain "meeting communities" i have been in around the school: meetings that are run as "top-down with report backs," without looking for opportunities for connection among the members. in these spaces, i always feel like an outsider. i don't feel like a valued member, but like someone who has come in for an uncomfortable visit. 

i know that i want my classrooms to feel more like the ATC: not a "leader knows best" vibe, but a space we are sharing together for mutual growth. a space where we can take risks because of the support of the community.